I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
