you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
