i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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