Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Your cock deserves a montage
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize