I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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