he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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