How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
