I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
love makes seman taste better
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
