if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
