Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
