It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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