I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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