He is an equal opportunity slut.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
