Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
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When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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