remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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