i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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