Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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