Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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