The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
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Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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