how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
