he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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