You're my little dorito
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
