He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
