Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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