My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
