I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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