Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's Friday. Sex?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
