Kiss
Puke
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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