Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.