my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
