So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
