Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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