I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
