Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
