I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize