No stitches, just platelets and will power
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
