So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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