I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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