My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
