i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We are all done wearing pants today
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