she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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