He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
