There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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