we have officially lost it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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