also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
