Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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