wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
