We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize