You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
