Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
