Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
