I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
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i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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