Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
