have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
