Having a random hookup so left but love u
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
