Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
