so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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