It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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