Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize