Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
