Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
