We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
